Where to go is not the only question that most visitors have to answer. For long haul travellers in particular there is the major choice of how. The true nomad will quite happily backpack off into the blue determined to make the most of any situation that arises. The less adventurous may still retain a sneaking feeling that for every thousand miles away from home the culture is bound to undergo an inexorable step change, on past experience probably for the worse.
While the UK poses less potential shocks of that kind than most countries doubt always lurks in the back of the mind. The traditionalist can always opt for the pre planned certainty of an organised tour but even this can have it's pitfalls. Beware of itineraries based on "Around the World in 80 Days", or in this case through the UK in a fortnight. It's all very well to want to see it all, but after a few miles of chasing the guides raised umbrella through cathedrals, castles, roman ruins and hotel lobbies the strain begins to tell. The coach seats get harder, the morning starts earlier, the refreshment breaks become more frenzied and tempers shorter. The other tour that is following your route and staying in the same hotels is always there first, gets the best dinner places and service, and somehow appears to be having a much more tranquil time of it altogether. As the tension mounts, and the coach crunches up the drive of yet another stately home , the prospect of the relative peace of the flight home may prove more and more attractive. The final straw on arrival at the country club overnight stop with only a few moments to spare before dinner , could be the sight of familiar beaming faces from the other party well into the second 9 holes.
So, take the car instead, and let the spirit lead where it will. Fill up with petrol , (beware it will hurt), and head off in search of the Loch Ness Monster, King Arthur's Camelot, or the secrets to be found "Far From The Madding Crowd" in Hardy's Wessex. A few points to remember and help you on your way. First, never stop in the middle of the deepest countryside to ask any local the way. This isn't because of any fear of unprovoked assault or intrusion, but simply because they never know the answer. Don't expect that sensible little short cut that looked so good on the map to always work out the way you intended. The British have a great national pastime that they always play at the height of the tourist season. It's called digging up the roads, the aim being to cause as much traffic disruption as possible in places where it wouldn't normally be found, and massive complications to exceed all expectations in the more predictable spots. The tailback on motorways always begins with no warning , a hundred yards past the last turn off when it's too late to do anything about it ,or over the last five miles into the car hire depot with the plane due to leave in forty five minutes. Last point if a minor one. Don't expect anybody to clean your windscreen. You may be a visitor, but windscreen cleaning and engine oil checks were privileges that were withdrawn years ago.
Third option take public transport. Go with the coach is the cheapest and while you may still be stuck in the same traffic jams, at least you'll be looking down on everyone else. There's a great deal of comfort in knowing that you have a toilet compartment in the rear, and that all those fuming bodies stuck in their cars would give their pension to be able to get to it. Trains are quicker, but you need a good credit rating to be able to afford them, and with a family you may want to take out a serious mortgage. On at least one internal flight, the London to Scotland shuttle is cheaper than the train, but other internals are decidedly thin on the ground and who wants to spend a holiday en route to and from Glasgow just to enjoy a cheaper ride.? Interesting choices. What about exercising some lateral thinking. Tale a car, travel by night and always drive on secondary roads?. Well perhaps not, what about a good pair of boots and an aggressive thumb, or even !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
John Laight
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© 1998 Europe Today A.S., John Laight.